Issue 2
July 2026
This Month at the River
Alright, alright. We get it. It’s summer in NYC. The Knicks won the final and I have no idea what’s going on with the Yankees. Does anyone ever know? I will admit, every time I see someone shoving a dog in their mouth mid-game on social media I think wow, they have the best uniform. I remember clubbing at Up and Down in 2014 when the whole team arrived—yes, in uniform. I offered one a cigarette and he respectfully declined. Anyway! Just as many of us are pretending to like sports this summer, so is the River. We have installed a TV in the front—a 70 inch flat screen that David and I had about 3 arguments over. Can’t wait to judge best in show.
If I lick my finger and hold it east it feels like few are heading to Europe this summer. While two martinis at the River may make feel like you could have paid for a first class seat to St. Tropez, I will say it is considerably cheaper and the headache from the hangover might even match your aversion to altitude. Cheers, go Knicks and I have no idea who we are cheering for this World Cup. Is the US even good?
July Programming
Food Popups
Starting July 5th—Frozen Drinks
The River will be serving a Frozen Passionfruit Margarita starting July 4th to help you stay cool in the bog (alongside our windowless bar & industrial A/C).
Tequila, Combier, passion fruit purée, fresh lime juice, a splash of simple syrup & ice blended together into a slushy alcoholic refreshment.
Date TBA—Sour Cherries NYC Froyo
Small batch frozen yoghurt, made with real fruit brought to you by @sourcherries.nyc. Date to be announced soon.
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World Cup Viewing Schedule
Round of 16
Sat Jul 4—1:00 PM
🇨🇦 Canada vs 🇲🇦 Morocco
Sat Jul 4—5:00 PM
🇵🇾 Paraguay vs 🇫🇷 France
Sun Jul 5—4:00 PM
🇧🇷 Brazil vs 🇳🇴 Norway
Sun Jul 5—8:00 PM
🇲🇽 Mexico vs 🏴 England
Mon Jul 6—3:00 PM
🇺🇸 USA vs 🇧🇪 Belgium
Mon Jul 6—8:00 PM
🇪🇸 Spain vs 🇵🇹 Portugal
Tue Jul 7—12:00 PM
🇦🇷 Argentina vs 🇨🇴 Colombia
Tue Jul 7—4:00 PM
🇨🇭 Switzerland vs 🇪🇬 Egypt
will be updated as games progress
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Cocktail of the Month
Orange Creamsicle
Recipe
1oz egg white
Dry shake
2oz dark rum
0.25oz Combier
3 dashes orange bitters
3oz freshly squeezed orange juice
Shaken with ice
Top with tonic water
Served in a Collins glass with ice
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Playlist of the Month
by Focusing on Living Today
Apple Music
Spotify
Ezra’s top three songs from the playlist are “Blue - Edit” by Bark Psychosis, “You Ain’t Got A Hold On Me” by Mark Kozelek, and “Came to Spend Some Money” by 03 Greedo.
”It’s deeply random.”—Focusing on Living Today
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River Picks / Expert Selections
Shane’s Art Pick
by Shane Rossi
Shane recommends Wilson Miller and Sebastian Maseri: Laurentia by Morning on view at Turquoise from July 2nd - September 8th.
“Wilson and Sebastian are presenting their work for the first time in New York as young artists- naturally, they are interested in the Amish and camels as subjects. There is a rigor to their stupidity thats worth inspection because it narrowly skirts weed jokes into a territory thats about the freedom to make a work and not need to understand it.” —Shane Rossi
Ben’s Art Pick
by Ben Noam
Ben recommends Jessi Reaves: process invented the mirror on view at the American Academy of Arts and Letters through July 3rd.
“Jessi Reaves has always pushed materials to the breaking point. She broke my orbital sander the first week of art school but that does not mean her show at Arts and Letters isn't a revelation. With her sensitivity to materials and brave intuition, she can turn mundane piles of junk into the most beautiful and strange sculptural collages. Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette, and Jessi might be one of the best artists at breaking things in New York right now.”—Ben Noam
Madeline’s Book Pick
by Madeline Cash
This month’s book pick is chosen by Madeline Cash, author of Lost Lambs, a New York Times bestseller and New York Times Book Review Editors' Choice.
“Very funny and dark. Maybe like if Rachel Cusk were funny. It’s just great.” —Madeline Cash
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Community News Bulletin
LOMEX Gallery
Jeff Egner: Guest Room
Through July 10th
86 Walker, 3rd Floor
Reupholstered and Undressed, curated by Leah Newman
Through July 17th
89 Walker, #2R
Alex Berns Gallery
Ben Brock: Lightning Bolts of Love
Through July 22nd
354 Broadway
LINES
A play by Ewan Llyod & Bellamy Brewster
Through July 3rd
Buy Tickets
Theatre 154
Semi-private classical mat pilates are offered every day of the week above The River by The Shell.
By referral only. Request at your own risk.
Elizabeth Street Garden offers free live music & poetry, alternating every Sunday from 5-7pm. They will also offer movie nights in the garden July 15th and 29th. Movies TBA.
Mutt Art Review now offers quarterly subscriptions.
New York Public Library Seward Park
16mm Film Screening—Pickpocket
July 1st, 6pm
Coney Island Friday Night Fireworks
Every Friday night throughout the summer, including on the Fourth of July. The shows blast off at 9:45pm and can be viewed directly from the beach, boardwalk, or the amusement parks.
Derby Cup Coffee is introducing cold foam! Open daily 8am—7pm.
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Fishing Hole
If interested, reach out to yasmin@restaurantangelinc.com
Help Wanted
The River
- Barback
Cavalier (new restaurant & wine bar)
- Cook
- Waiters
*wine-enthusiasts only*
For Hire
Petey’s Plumbing
If you’re in the market for a plumber we highly recommend Petey’s Plumbing.
Add him to your list of plumbers and maybe you’ll book one within the week.
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Overheard at the River
“It’s a sports bar now?”
“Fuck you. No breakup sex?”
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Missed Connections
Introducing the River Missed Connections submission box, conveniently located on the way out so you can leave all your regrets behind you. If you didn’t have the nerve to say hi, we can say it for you right here.
Made eye contact with a hottie—KB
Not about anyone here—I got a crush on my deli guy though.
Doug?
Cute blonde girl the southern accent & pretty smile.
Handsome man with short sleeved tank top. We shared a martini together. I can’t stop thinking about you.
You: Tall, glasses, dark long hair, rock star?
Me: Shy, sweet, petite, alluring
Me: Awesome, badass, hung
You: wore a red article of clothing or something and whore.
To the couple who was making out on the dance floor, I love your way of dancing.
(I need u) Kinda ugly + really short. Mets Jersey. Skinny fat build.
Pornstar martini killed it
<3
Hi from goolz + dan
Dirty Ho Laura
7817285744
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Lost & Found
Our staff’s favourite lost & found find from last month is this bag full of seaweed.
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Patron of the Month
The River’s Patron of the Month for July is Chris Snyder!
Come by anytime in July to claim your free drink.
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To Our Patrons:
We consider it a privilege to have served you and are happy to express our deep appreciation of your valued patronage. We shall eagerly look forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.
Thank You!
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ily river bar
Can I write a short story for your substack