Alright, alright. We get it. It’s summer in NYC. The Knicks won the final and I have no idea what’s going on with the Yankees. Does anyone ever know? I will admit, every time I see someone shoving a dog in their mouth mid-game on social media I think wow, they have the best uniform. I remember clubbing at Up and Down in 2014 when the whole team arrived—yes, in uniform. I offered one a cigarette and he respectfully declined. Anyway! Just as many of us are pretending to like sports this summer, so is the River. We have installed a TV in the front—a 70 inch flat screen that David and I had about 3 arguments over. Can’t wait to judge best in show.

If I lick my finger and hold it east it feels like few are heading to Europe this summer. While two martinis at the River may make feel like you could have paid for a first class seat to St. Tropez, I will say it is considerably cheaper and the headache from the hangover might even match your aversion to altitude. Cheers, go Knicks and I have no idea who we are cheering for this World Cup. Is the US even good?

July Programming

Food Popups

Starting July 5th—Frozen Drinks

The River will be serving a Frozen Passionfruit Margarita starting July 4th to help you stay cool in the bog (alongside our windowless bar & industrial A/C).

Tequila, Combier, passion fruit purée, fresh lime juice, a splash of simple syrup & ice blended together into a slushy alcoholic refreshment.

Date TBA—Sour Cherries NYC Froyo

Small batch frozen yoghurt, made with real fruit brought to you by @sourcherries.nyc. Date to be announced soon.

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World Cup Viewing Schedule

Round of 16

Sat Jul 4—1:00 PM
🇨🇦 Canada vs 🇲🇦 Morocco

Sat Jul 4—5:00 PM
🇵🇾 Paraguay vs 🇫🇷 France

Sun Jul 5—4:00 PM
🇧🇷 Brazil vs 🇳🇴 Norway

Sun Jul 5—8:00 PM
🇲🇽 Mexico vs 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England

Mon Jul 6—3:00 PM
🇺🇸 USA vs 🇧🇪 Belgium

Mon Jul 6—8:00 PM
🇪🇸 Spain vs 🇵🇹 Portugal

Tue Jul 7—12:00 PM
🇦🇷 Argentina vs 🇨🇴 Colombia

Tue Jul 7—4:00 PM
🇨🇭 Switzerland vs 🇪🇬 Egypt

will be updated as games progress

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Cocktail of the Month

Orange Creamsicle

Recipe
1oz egg white
Dry shake
2oz dark rum
0.25oz Combier
3 dashes orange bitters
3oz freshly squeezed orange juice
Shaken with ice
Top with tonic water
Served in a Collins glass with ice

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Playlist of the Month

by Focusing on Living Today
Apple Music
Spotify

Ezra’s top three songs from the playlist are “Blue - Edit” by Bark Psychosis, “You Ain’t Got A Hold On Me” by Mark Kozelek, and “Came to Spend Some Money” by 03 Greedo.

”It’s deeply random.”—Focusing on Living Today

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River Picks / Expert Selections

Shane’s Art Pick

by Shane Rossi

Shane recommends Wilson Miller and Sebastian Maseri: Laurentia by Morning on view at Turquoise from July 2nd - September 8th.

“Wilson and Sebastian are presenting their work for the first time in New York as young artists- naturally, they are interested in the Amish and camels as subjects. There is a rigor to their stupidity thats worth inspection because it narrowly skirts weed jokes into a territory thats about the freedom to make a work and not need to understand it.” —Shane Rossi

Ben’s Art Pick

by Ben Noam

Ben recommends Jessi Reaves: process invented the mirror on view at the American Academy of Arts and Letters through July 3rd.

“Jessi Reaves has always pushed materials to the breaking point. She broke my orbital sander the first week of art school but that does not mean her show at Arts and Letters isn't a revelation. With her sensitivity to materials and brave intuition, she can turn mundane piles of junk into the most beautiful and strange sculptural collages. Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette, and Jessi might be one of the best artists at breaking things in New York right now.”—Ben Noam

Madeline’s Book Pick

by Madeline Cash

This month’s book pick is chosen by Madeline Cash, author of Lost Lambs, a New York Times bestseller and New York Times Book Review Editors' Choice.

“Very funny and dark. Maybe like if Rachel Cusk were funny. It’s just great.” —Madeline Cash

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Community News Bulletin

LOMEX Gallery
Jeff Egner: Guest Room
Through July 10th
86 Walker, 3rd Floor

Reupholstered and Undressed, curated by Leah Newman
Through July 17th
89 Walker, #2R

Alex Berns Gallery
Ben Brock: Lightning Bolts of Love
Through July 22nd
354 Broadway

LINES
A play by Ewan Llyod & Bellamy Brewster
Through July 3rd
Buy Tickets
Theatre 154

Semi-private classical mat pilates are offered every day of the week above The River by The Shell.
By referral only. Request at your own risk.

Elizabeth Street Garden offers free live music & poetry, alternating every Sunday from 5-7pm. They will also offer movie nights in the garden July 15th and 29th. Movies TBA.

Mutt Art Review now offers quarterly subscriptions.

New York Public Library Seward Park
16mm Film Screening—Pickpocket
July 1st, 6pm

Coney Island Friday Night Fireworks
Every Friday night throughout the summer, including on the Fourth of July. The shows blast off at 9:45pm and can be viewed directly from the beach, boardwalk, or the amusement parks.

Derby Cup Coffee is introducing cold foam! Open daily 8am—7pm.

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Fishing Hole

If interested, reach out to yasmin@restaurantangelinc.com

Help Wanted

The River
- Barback

Cavalier (new restaurant & wine bar)
- Cook
- Waiters
*wine-enthusiasts only*

For Hire

Petey’s Plumbing

If you’re in the market for a plumber we highly recommend Petey’s Plumbing.
Add him to your list of plumbers and maybe you’ll book one within the week.

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Overheard at the River

“It’s a sports bar now?”

“Fuck you. No breakup sex?”

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Missed Connections

Introducing the River Missed Connections submission box, conveniently located on the way out so you can leave all your regrets behind you. If you didn’t have the nerve to say hi, we can say it for you right here.

Made eye contact with a hottie—KB

Not about anyone here—I got a crush on my deli guy though.

Doug?

Cute blonde girl the southern accent & pretty smile.

Handsome man with short sleeved tank top. We shared a martini together. I can’t stop thinking about you.

You: Tall, glasses, dark long hair, rock star?
Me: Shy, sweet, petite, alluring

Me: Awesome, badass, hung
You: wore a red article of clothing or something and whore.

To the couple who was making out on the dance floor, I love your way of dancing.

(I need u) Kinda ugly + really short. Mets Jersey. Skinny fat build.

Pornstar martini killed it
<3
Hi from goolz + dan

Dirty Ho Laura
7817285744

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Lost & Found

Our staff’s favourite lost & found find from last month is this bag full of seaweed.

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Patron of the Month

The River’s Patron of the Month for July is Chris Snyder!
Come by anytime in July to claim your free drink.

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To Our Patrons:

We consider it a privilege to have served you and are happy to express our deep appreciation of your valued patronage. We shall eagerly look forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.

Thank You!

_

Subscribe now

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June Programming

Magic Mondays

Starting June 1st, Shane Cobalt will be performing his award-winning sleight-of-hand every Monday this month!

“How is this even possible?”—John Hamm

June 15th—Summer Trivia

Theme Trivia by Isabel Filer & Avery O’Rourke is back with its eighteenth trivia, appropriately themed for the season. Join us at 8pm for a chance to place top three and win our summer-themed prize bag, a bottle of Arley Marks’ Honey Vodka, or a pre-rolled joint!

Each month on our Substack, Theme Trivia will release a preview question from their upcoming trivia. Find this month’s below.

During summer, some animals enter a state of prolonged dormancy triggered by extreme heat and drought, similar to winter hibernation. What is this state called?

Follow them on Instagram @theme_trivia for more updates.

June 17th—Music Night

Friend of the River Chris will be sharing a new mixtape from 7-9pm with special drinks, followed by Matt McCauley, playing guitar & singing original music starting at 9pm.

June 26th—Private Event

River will be closed to the public from 8:00—11:30pm.

Food Popups

Taco Tuesdays by Cocina Itza

Every Tuesday this month, the River’s own Akbal Ortega will be frying up his signature carnitas tacos, alongside a rotating weekly special (think: chilaquiles, tinga, ceviche). Ortega prepares his carnitas from maciza pork, brined overnight and then slowly confited in lard with orange, garlic, onion, herbs, rum, and (Mexican) Coca-Cola.

The carnitas are served on warm tortillas with cilantro, onion, lime, and a house-made salsa de árbol and salsa de aguacate, adapted from the chef’s family recipes.

Ortega recommends an ice-cold Modelo with a lime wedge to wash down the meal.

June 7th—New World Oyster by Aidan Davids
**Postponed to Monday, June 8th**

Another member of the River team, Aidan Davids will be introducing New World Oyster at The River. For its debut, Davids has selected oysters from Nova Scotia, sourced through Greenpoint Fish & Lobster and chosen for their balanced flavor profile. New World Oyster will evolve throughout the summer as Davids explores offerings from Maine, Massachusetts, and beyond.

Oysters will be served with a rotating selection of house-made mignonettes, featuring red wine, prosecco, sake, vermouth, and wasabi preparations, as well as seasonal accoutrements of shiso, cilantro, yuzu, lemon, and lime.

For those inclined, we recommend pairing a dozen with a dry Hendrick’s Martini with a twist.

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Cocktail of the Month

Horse Girl Martini

Recipe
1.5oz Viamundi Tequila
0.5oz Combier
1oz carrot juice
0.25oz lemon juice
3 dashes Tabasco
Shaken with ice
Served up in a coupe glass
Garnish with dried chili pepper

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Playlist of the Month

by Ryley Walker
Apple Music
Spotify

Ryley’s top three songs on the playlist are “Revans” by Sora, “Plato Trees” by Imaginary Softwoods and “Strong-Willed” by Milyakov & Yana Pavlova.

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River Picks / Expert Selections

Aurel’s Art Pick

by Aurel Schmidt

On view as part of the exhibition Joan Semmel: In The Flesh at the Jewish Museum.

“I actually saw the show, it was pretty good.” —Aurel Schmidt

Nicolaia’s Book Pick

by Nicolaia Rips

This month’s book pick is chosen by journalist Nicolaia Rips. She is the Senior Editor of i-D Magazine & her writing has been published just about everywhere.

“The Dud Avocado by one of my favorite authors, Elaine Dundy!!! A firecracker of a novelist. I wish I could read The Dud Avocado for the first time again but that’s an opportunity reserved for 20-year-olds and people in 20-year-old-type crises.” —Nicolaia Rips

You can subscribe to Nicolaia’s Substack — The Rips Sheet — here.

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Community News Bulletin

Bar Oliver PINTXO SERIES
June 1st
5:30pm – Sold Out

LOMEX Gallery
Yoshitaka Amano: Time and Light
April 24th – June 6th, 2026
86 Walker, 3rd Floor | 89 Walker, #2R

Mutt Art Review Issue 4 Launch
The Gallery
June 13th, 7-9pm

Alex Berns Gallery
354 Broadway
Antonia Lucy Gehnrich: Das Parfum
On view through Saturday, June 13th

LINES
A play by Ewan Llyod & Bellamy Brewster
Theatre 154
June 17th – July 3rd
Buy Tickets

Mutt Art Review reading at Derby Cup Coffee
Stay tuned for details.

Semi-private classical mat pilates are offered every day of the week above The River by The Shell.
By referral only. Request at your own risk.

Elizabeth Street Garden offers free live music & poetry every other Sunday at 5pm, Tai Chi on Sundays at 11am, & yoga (starting June 20th) on Saturdays at 10:30am.

Gosh has opened and is in full swing, run by the team behind Amanita Gallery. Featuring a wild interior (e.g. confessionals) & an expansive collection of art stamping the walls, you may find yourself turned away at the door during one of their many private events. But don’t fret—the River is just down the block.

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Overheard at the River

“Can I hold your d*** while you pee?”

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Lost & Found

Our staff’s favourite lost & found find from last month is Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov.

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Patron of the Month

The River’s Patron of the Month for June is Wade Oates!
Come by anytime in June to claim your free drink.

_

To Our Patrons:

We consider it a privilege to have served you and are happy to express our deep appreciation of your valued patronage. We shall eagerly look forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.

Thank You!

_

Subscribe now

Share The River's Substack

As we enter our fifth year of service, we have decided to share a little…

Sitting inside the River with little to no light over a coveted Silver Service Hot Dog, we brainstorm ways to show how we value our guests, and celebrate those who made this place what it is today…

…So we started a Substack.

The River’s Substack will provide an inside look into our monthly programming, exclusive access to reservations, recipes, bartender playlists, River merchandise & more. Beyond that, it will serve as a space to share information that our community is excited about.

We consider it a privilege to have served you and are happy to express our deep appreciation of your valued patronage. We shall eagerly look forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.

Thank You!
_

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